Venus of Willendorf. Limestone, circa 22,000 BC.

Having recently discussed topless females, I thought today I'd talk about one of art's oldest topless females, the Venus of Willendorf. Venus was discovered in 1908, and named after a nearby Austrian town, Willendorf. She stands a little less than 4.5 inches high - or rather, she would if she could stand on her own. She acquired the title "Venus" as sort of a joke among early (male) scholars. Nowadays people will sometimes just refer to her as the "Woman of Willendorf."

Being around 22,000 years old, there isn't much that can be said about her with certainty. Really, the only thing archaeologists are sure if is that she's a woman. Oh, and she's made of limestone. They're pretty certain of that, too. It can also reasonably be assumed that she was carved by a human and not, say, natural forces, an animal or an extraterrestrial.

A few things to point out before I start throwing out theories. First off, I assume you've noticed the prominent genitalia. Venus appears to be obese, and not pregnant. Her little arms are resting on top of her breasts. Strangely she doesn't have a face, and the sort of bumpy texture that covers her head is thought to be either a fancy hairdo or a cool hat. (The hat theory only came up recently, when archaeologists found a hat that looks very similar to whatever is on Venus' head.)

Now, on to the theories. Most hold the belief that the Venus is some kind of fertility figurine, which is why the genitals are so prominent. The fact that she has no face and very roughly done hands and feet suggests that the artist, in making her, believed that her feminine features were most important and required the greatest detail. Two problems with this theory: it doesn't explain why Venus is apparently overweight, rather than pregnant; and second, it doesn't explain why so much detail was put into the hair/hat, which is obviously the most detailed part of her.

Common theory number two is that she is some kind of Gaia figure, a representation of a sort of mother earth goddess. The feminine features would be important to represent the fertility of the earth, all that gives life, yadda yadda yadda. As for her obesity, maybe the mother earth goddess gets really pampered, and gets to lie around all day eating potato chips. And if she's an earth goddess, I'm sure she has nymphs or fairies or something that can do her hair up really nice and make her some really nice hats.

Finally there is the theory that Venus of Willendorf is meant to portray a specific woman. She could have been someone of great importance in a matriarchal society. But that theory runs into trouble as one would expect the artist to have carved her most defining feature, her face.

What have we learned today? That when we delve into the realm of speculation, I tend to get sarcastic. Oh, and the Venus of Willendorf is a limestone woman. That about covers things.