Still Life, by Jan Davidsz de Heem. Oil on canvas, 1653.

I'm veering off the beaten path today to showcase a work by Jan Davidsz de Heem, a man who I believe is one of the greatest still-life masters. (Naturally, he's Dutch, because I think only Dutch and Flemish painters had the patience to paint stuff like this. I suppose you could also credit it to the whole Northern Renaissance tradition, stained glass and manuscript illumination and all that, but I'm sticking with the patience theory.) De Heem's most famous paintings are of flowers, but I just can't get over his fruit. I mean, look at it. Look at it! Harder! The man is fantastic! It's a shame so little contemporary art displays this kind of technical skill.

Unfortunately, de Heem didn't date many of his works - he only dated the very best, which cracks me up since they're all fantastic. They also all suffer from obvious name syndrome: Still Life with Fruit and Flowers, Still Life with Flowers, Still Life with Fruit, Still Life with Bird's Nest, etc.

According to the Web Gallery of Art (see links in the column on the right), this still life "depicts white and blue grapes, peaches, cherries, a fig, an ear of wheat, oak leaf and acorns, a sweet chestnut, filbert nuts, hawk-weed, a medlar, a garden tiger moth, together with borage, and other flowers, all against a decorative sculpted background with a scorpion." 50 points to whomever can find and identify all of those. Frankly, I have a hard time taking my eyes off the fruit.

Another thing I like about de Heem is that, unlike other still-life artists, he doesn't paint dead animals. Well, besides lobster and the occasional clam, but I don't really see seafood as being alive in the first place.