Mona Lisa, by Leonardo da Vinci. Oil on poplar wood, 1503-1507.

That's right, the Mona Lisa. I know, this painting has been battered into our brains ever since we were kids. And thanks to its fame, it's been used in so many horrible ways. It's in a really bad Crest commercial, it was the focus of that horrible movie Mona Lisa Smile... oh Leonardo, how I weep for you.

The name Mona Lisa actually comes from Georgio Vasari, who thought the subject of the portrait was a woman named Lisa. ("Mona" means "my lady," or "madam.") Nowadays there's a big debate over just who the woman in the painting is, but frankly, who gives a crap? It'll look the same no matter who is sitting in it. Why aren't people discussing more important things, like why the woman doesn't have eyebrows? Does this bug anyone else? I've had the urge to take her into Photoshop and add some.

What's really interesting about the Mona Lisa is her history. Apart from the Louvre, Lisa has hung in the Palace of Versailles and in Emperor Napoleon's bedroom. She was really made famous by two things: the love symbolists and Dada artists had for her, and her theft from the Louvre in 1911. She was stolen by Louvre employee Vincenzo Peruggia, who commissioned a French art forger to make copies of her that could then be sold as originals on the black market. (Now that's a genius idea - I'll give credit where credit is due.) Peruggia kept her in his apartment for two years, then was caught when he tried to sell her to an art dealer in Florence.

Lisa's gone through some hard times while hanging in the Louvre as well. In 1956, the lower portion of the painting was doused with acid, and only a few months later someone came in and threw a rock at it. The Mona Lisa now sits in her own room in the museum, protected by unbreakable, bullet proof, non-reflective glass - just in case someone makes it into the Louvre with a gun.

For you Da Vinci Code fans, don't expect to see the real Mona Lisa in the movie - all of those bright movie lights would have done a number on her. Ron Howard had to make do with a fake, although he did get to shoot the scene in the actual Louvre.

On a final note, back in 1997 the radio show "This American Life" sent someone into the Louvre with a cell phone to report on what people were talking about as they saw the painting. The topics of choice? Why the Mona Lisa is so expensive, and how people were tired and wanted to go home. One woman said, "I saw a film once that if you go really close to the painting, she doesn't look that good at all." To hear the whole exchange, which is about five minutes long, visit www.thislife.org and listen to episode 73, "Blame it on Art."